The
character of my story, the one who temporarily got happy could not get
away from the curse of his destiny for long and now he is desperately
looking for the darkest corner to hide from the hit. Seeking solace from
one's own mind, own thoughts, from self is so very difficult.
We
as humans live all emotions in this living world as it is meant to be like that.
We love, we hate, we
get angry, we get sad, however only few lucky ones get to express all that they
feel about & to the ones they love or hate.
There are a few unlucky & cursed ones, who do not even get to express
themselves. My character is too busy brooding in his own world. The habit to have multiple chains of conversations with own mind can be lethal. He expressed, but
to himself and not to the ones he loved or hated due to the fear. Fear
of rejection & fear of acceptance which are so scary like a freaking monster ready to engulf
you to hell. My character did express some years back in time. The
expression was beautiful and is stated below.
"1. You are a lovely secret very well kept, buried deep inside my
heart, yet you are the heightened wave of emotion which I sing to glory
in front of all.
2. You make me smile like an idiot, the same
you... makes me cry like a fool, clear & confused the feeling so
enchanting yet so subdued (precious saved from this world).
3. I
wish i could tell you all that you make me feel, I wish you could see
how you have captured my heart & soul, living you instead of life
has become my only goal.
4. I know you like someone else, you
don't like me. I will quit my obsession for you, i will fake all my
conversations with you. Start talking to me, i swear I'll find someone
else similar to you, so that you don't stop talking to me anymore. I am seeking you from the divine for another lifetime on this earth and if possible do come back in this lifetime.
Faking your thoughts, actual feelings, emotions, excitement for long
years can lead to anxiety and ultimately leads to depression or chronic
illnesses.There is no solution to such a grave situation, the misery is so much fun to live that you actually get muddled as to weather you are ina happy state, sad state or some out of the world state of nirvana seeking you as a chosen one. Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
So the guy in the story decides to put it out.
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