The Performer

Beautiful yet quiet evening. So many people gathered at an open place. So many yet so individual, isolated, lonely. One of them is me looking at the performers as a passer by. The performer yes thats what has gathered this crowd. The silence in me intensifies with the increasing rythm, tempo of the performer's sounds. What if all this stops, what exists when this set up collapses. Every passer by will be gone, some thinking, some without thinking. This always reminds me time and again of the universal fact that everything which starts has to end. This world will finish everything which starts. Why so much suffering, why this chaos, why this pain dosent end. Celebration for others doesnt mean the same for me. I hate all this. I hate the performer. I hate the stage, i hate everythinh that is gathering. Why everyone is happy and why i am so lost. I just want to reach the end. As the begining is finished for me. With you everything finished. As you are not in my life you left me for suffering all this. I want to hate you.

HOLDING ON TO LIFE

Beneath the blue sky, at dusk advent of sudden romance occurs. A soothing breeze starts to emerge from an origin mysteriously unknown. A sudden lathargic yet desired abeyance at this moment beautifies the tunnel of timeline. The greenery, the trees, the plants, the myriad flowers all synchronised at this moment by the caressing touch of the benevolent wind. This amazing romance between the breeze and the trees, a lovely sight of nature at work is open to all, yet this magic is seen and felt by the blessed few. The chirping birds, the setting sun and the faded moon slowly ascending in the sky, flashing its brightness soon to be high are witness to this ecstacy.

The whole scenario at par with some cosmic event makes me believe that some nature's creations are meant to cross paths on a regular basis, some connections ought to be a spiritual tasks (life is so incomplete without them). If someone makes a sincere endeavour to explore the mystery behind all this happening, the reason will never be found, but a relay of a bunch of sweet memories will definitely be revealed to come alive.

The unforgettable memories in a corner of the heart or a corner of the heart without them, the little child holding on to the heart beat with some hope and some fear of loosing the hope. Holding on to life.

KHUD PE NAHI KHUDA PE YAKEEN HO

Kuch to kami ho iss kambakht zindagi mein, Ki khud pe nahi khuda pe yakeen ho,

Kabhi mobile ki battery khatm, kabhi charger gum ho,

Kabhi gaadi me petrol khatm, kabhi gaadi khud band ho,

Megha barse ankhiyon se aise, ki palkein bilkul namm ho,

Paagalpan aisa ki Dekhen jo kissi ko, samjhein ki bas tum ho,

Bhagwaan kare ki agle janam mein, hum tum aur tum hum ho.

THE LOUD SECRET OPEN TO CLOUDS

1. You are a lovely secret very well kept, buried deep inside my heart, yet you are the heightened wave of emotion which I sing to glory in front of all.

2. You make me smile like an idiot, the same you... makes me cry like a fool, clear & confused the feeling so enchanting yet so subdued  (precious saved from this world).

3. I wish i could tell you all that you make me feel, I wish you could see how you have captured my heart & soul, living you instead of life has become my only goal.

4. Like a lost child in a crowded place, i look for your mere presence to  seek some solace, just stay the way you are so that i loose myself in your embrace.

   

"DARKEST PLACE FOR SEEKING SOLACE ON THIS EARTH."

The character of my story, the one who temporarily got happy could not get away from the curse of his destiny for long and now he is desperately looking for the darkest corner to hide from the hit. Seeking solace from one's own mind, own thoughts, from self is so very difficult. 

We as humans live all emotions in this living world as it is meant to be like that. 

We love, we hate, we get angry, we get sad, however only few lucky ones get to express all that they feel about & to the ones they love or hate. There are a few unlucky & cursed ones, who do not even get to express themselves. My character is too busy brooding in his own world. The habit to have multiple chains of conversations with own mind can be lethal. He expressed, but to himself and not to the ones he loved or hated due to the fear. Fear of rejection & fear of acceptance which are so scary like a freaking monster ready to engulf you to hell. My character did express some years back in time. The expression was beautiful and is stated below.

"1. You are a lovely secret very well kept, buried deep inside my heart, yet you are the heightened wave of emotion which I sing to glory in front of all.

2. You make me smile like an idiot, the same you... makes me cry like a fool, clear & confused the feeling so enchanting yet so subdued (precious saved from this world).

3. I wish i could tell you all that you make me feel, I wish you could see how you have captured my heart & soul, living you instead of life has become my only goal.

4. I know you like someone else, you don't like me. I will quit my obsession for you, i will fake all my conversations with you. Start talking to me, i swear I'll find someone else similar to you, so that you don't stop talking to me anymore. I am seeking you from the divine for another lifetime on this earth and if possible do come back in this lifetime.

Faking your thoughts, actual feelings, emotions, excitement for long years can lead to anxiety and ultimately leads to depression or chronic illnesses.There is no solution to such a grave situation, the misery is so much fun to live that you actually get muddled as to weather you are ina happy state, sad state or some out of the world state of nirvana seeking you as a chosen one. Lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 

So the guy in the story decides to put it out.

ALL CREATION CONTAINS POISON- THE ESSENCE OF BLISSFUL END

Lord Shiva the creator consumed poison for sustaining life on this earth. Poison is an integral part of this universe which has to find a place to dissolve, to settle down. It reverberates through the senses deep inside from the tiniest particle to the whole some being "the identity". The mystery of life & death can be deciphered from the fact that, if the master of the universe has consumed poison, so how can the creation be without it. This portion of poison comes in a living being by virtue of birth on this earth & slowly dissolves within the living beings affecting the molecular formation, the cells, the blood, the muscles, the organs, the body & lastly the spirit. 

When it dissolves itself into the soul, the tiny consciousness which we have compared to the bigger unfathomable consciousness of the universe breaks, life processes end & the soul gets released from the bounds of its worldly illusions, mirror like "me" is dusted.

When we grow to adolescence, we grow with an ego not less than a mountain. This reflects not to the "me" but to the universe, the absolute & then the reflection treats your ego going ahead by making you realize that you do not control a fig on this earth & everything is moving as per a divine plan beyond human understanding. You are a small piece of dirt, full of filthy human emotions, illusions & weaknesses.The ego needs to be crushed to death again & again so that the self realization repeats itself for you to feel easy when the "poison" i referred above dissolves itself into you steadily.

In plain & simple words "Rest the soul & the body in true devotion of the mahadev (the supreme soul) as he is the only one who can handle poison, aur baaki kisi insaan ya farishte ki aukaad nahi iss zeher ko jhelne ki". 

"HAR HAR MAHADEV"

SELECTION ALTERED TO LIFE INSTEAD OF DEATH

He suddenly realized that he was breathing again and felt a fresh flow of energy gushing through his soul, revival is it?  The feeling was such as if he was drowning deep into the waters and suddenly a divine hand mysteriously pulled him out from those deadly fathoms of worst human emotions alive. When you get saved and come out alive from such a chaotic state of prolonged intoxication, you just feel the extreme divinity. The eternal bliss, ultimate truth, absolute awareness all were found at once vide the series of chemical reactions which shook his nerves. 

Such a state of bliss which was attained dramatically, cleared all the filth in the mind and instructed the brain to mend its selection towards life instead of death. 

MYSTERY IN COMMAND- LOST, FOUND, RETRIEVED & MAY BE AGAIN LOST....... TO BE FOUND

The mystery which was so commanding and powerful had been reintroduced. It created kind of teenage butterflies , but it also had the serenity to calm and sooth the soul. The mystery had the ability to reduce him to nothing in seconds, as well as complete him to everything within moments, make him behave like a nervous little child as well as a mature & thorough gentleman having the awareness of the universe, both at the same time. This state was similar to ripples created in water when a stone hits the water surface, wherein the madness is created and tranquility achieved within seconds, similar to a doped state, which can be achieved by weed as well as meditation, choice being yours. Just like the universe is getting created and destroyed by the supreme force in the same time and space again and again. Long standing and unforeseen confusion eventually felt like absolute clarity.

The magnitude of emotional attachment and divine love was such at the first place that he chose consuming a lifetime poison over the option of loosing his mystery. A parallel world was created with a person bearing virtual identity and the real one left untouched as pious as the god himself. Fear of loosing the best you aspire, makes you opt an alternative. Alternative is just life and the best is god and you seldom get to be with god. However, Thou shall reunite with either god or the soul who 

introduced the godly feeling of love not today, not tomorrow but someday in some time and space. Might be that you have shared a life with them earlier, that is why you feel elevated by a mere thought of them. The mystery is the only medicine to which ones body, mind and soul respond in the best ways, it feels so right. There must be some connection else how is it possible that out of millions of lives, you feel it for that one person exclusively. 

The mysterious matter stuck in the brain makes your day sparkle. You just don't have to beg to have a visual of the one, you just have to close your eyes and magic happens. Ever wondered what this magic is, ever wondered what this sensation is? He could not make out. Just like in science they say energy can neither be created nor be destroyed, in the same manner love cannot be created nor be destroyed, it can only be felt and you can ride the feeling helplessly with a let loose state of uncontrolled elevated spirits. 

The perfect sync of hearts which race together happily in deep love is an unbelievable phenomenon.Such state if reached can unlock tremendous energies and abilities in a person. 

The thoughts presented are the mere reflection of this state which is beyond the comprehension of conscious mind. So, he rests his arguments for now to enjoy his mystery which was lost , found, retrieved and may be again will be lost.

SEDATED TO BE IN FOOLS PARADISE - A STRANGE & MAGICAL CONFLICT BETWEEN ILLUSIONS, EMOTIONS & THE REALITY

Sometimes just feel like closing the eyes and living with peace, with the one who goes away but doesn't fade away, one who remains whatever may come, just like the pleasure of being drenched with the pure rain drops romancing with the earth. 

Can there be such a place, such world? 

Emotional illusions are like dangerous tides in a violent sea. They illuminate your senses, break the shackles, stimulate your adrenaline, make you feel on top of the world. The feeling is such that you ride the clouds in the sky. No hurries no worries, a serene atmosphere where you breathe at ease. The stress and the burden you carry suddenly feels light, as if it just vanished like a delicate leaf in a windy storm. Power of illusion my friend, it is the capability of our great mind at work. Such illusion when ordered by the heart to the head and commanded by the heart beats is what i am talking about. It is indeed dangerous i must say, but only when it is interrupted and the hallucinations disappear. When this mode is broken by the harsh, cruel and deceptive reality the whole system might go haywire and crash. 

Spirituality, love, friends, family, all of this universe is a layer of illusions. We are stuck in these layers with time quotient attached. The one who gave you this illustration of mind-boggling illusion for the first time in life makes you feel young, riding the sky over the clouds... Remember i mentioned earlier. The one who sparked this feeling never lets you grow old as you get stuck in that time with that person. To be with such a mystical person that you always aspired all the time in life is practically impossible. The spark which created the joyful fallacy sedates you into riding the wave back in time. So, just enjoy the ride into  the fools paradise which may never turn into a reality and you might look for an alternative, a prototype to sustain the balance of life.

SOLDIER

Fighting the enemy Soldiers we are,
Standing like the remenants of a sanguinary war.
Fire is intense wind is fast,
Engulfing the body like a dark hollow cast.
Burns and Bruises all over the face,
Hope is an illusion defying the faith.
Thoughts are morbid and love forbidden,
Isolation is the destiny, but glorious is the past.
Abandoned we are marked forever,
courage, energy, strength and power
stretch that WILL a little too far.
FIGHTING THE ENEMY SOLDIERS WE ARE.

JAI HIND.

JUST LIKE THAT (JLT)

Sky is falling, all are running.
There is a crux to learn in all which is moving,
the moving which is sometimes lagging and at times pacing.
The crux is a rule which seems to be universal, that says
Either you are a prey or you are a predator.
This crux is sometimes rewarding and at times cursing,
if its rewarding then its a blessing and if its a cursing then its demoralising.
I don't know if its all real but what i know is that it is sometimes a little winning and at times defeating.
The river keeps flowing, the breze keeps blowing
the nature of this world is sometimes teaming and at times isolating.
We are in the motley of all these emotions and feelings,
which are sometimes making and at times breaking.

The crux i was talking about earlier is not the rule of being a prey or a predator,
but its all about making making n making and never breaking.........

BEING PRACTICAL

Individual spaces, individuality, individual self respect, self ego, self attitude,self ideology and thought process these are the terms which define this dimension called practicality.Being practical is elevating the above mentioned feelings in ones life and practicing them to the core.A dear friend of mine mentioned these things in front of me around 9 to 10 months ago and i shut him up straight away by putting up the point of absolute love and affection ie; where there is love there is no place for such self oriented terms.But i guess i was wrong.What my friend predicted has actually happened.I see my ideology, confidence and faith trembling down like a demolished wall.Whatever illusions or misconceptions i had have been given a big jolt.I think i need to change, change the way i think, change the approach of looking at and dealing with people.I need to focus more on self rather than wandering around behind others pleading for a little attention.I would like to admit the fact that i have lost faith in my self and my ideology.
I had a very strong concept of people existing together, i had a strong faith in the concept WE/US.But concepts,fundamentals in the realistic world are very different this is what i have never realized and i am paying for it.There is a very thin line between the realistic concept and the superficial one.Differentiating between the two becomes difficult rather i would say hazy when you start thinking from your heart and to see a clearer picture or the realistic one you need to keep your heart at bay and apply your mind.Application of mind needs to be practiced.When you shut the doors of rationality sometimes the real appears to be superficial and superficial appears to be real.So one must be rational in his approach.
Practicality is one thing which is a little relative and must not be practiced on all occasions.I have personally never followed this concept nor i have preached it.May be because i have no responsibility, to be very precise i am not earning.I have started taking favors from one and all, i have started seeking love, attention etc. without having my own standing.I do realize this fact, WELCOME TO THE REALISTIC WORLD.... this is a very apt and befitting statement applicable on me.Again one of my friends always use to tell me this whenever we used to have a discussion on any issues guess he was right.Where did i go wrong........ now i know, depending heavily on somebody emotionally or on any other aspects is wrong.One must be strong enough to deal with his own problems and difficulties without seeking and expecting any kind of support or helping hand.SEEKING and EXPECTING are the practices which makes a character shallow and weak.Imposing your love or say feelings on someone does not mean that you start expecting the same after all others have their own identity, individuality, way of life which cannot be taken for granted or changed.The earlier one realizes and starts practicing these concepts the better it is for future.
Points to be highlighted
--- NOTHING SUCCEEDS SUCCESS
--- ALWAYS BE REALISTIC IN LIFE (BE A STUDENT , JUST LEARN DON'T FEEL)
--- WHEN FAILURE STARTS KISSING YOUR FEET, PEOPLE AROUND YOU START SLAPPING YOUR FACE.
--- ALWAYS STICK TO THE BASE AND NEVER FLY IN ILLUSION LIKE A FOOL.
--- BE PRACTICAL AND START HAVING YOUR OWN STANDING
--- SELF ANALYSIS IS THE KEY TO MOVE AHEAD.

THE DAILY DECISION

There is a decision that each one of us has to make,
for each of us needs to decide for ourselves,

Whether to give or to take,
whether to love or reject love,

Wether to bring peace or strife.......
And that is the "daily decision"
That affects the whole rest of our life.

So make your decision and make it wisely.The people who succeed in their endeavours have this special power of making decisions, taking actions, implementation of the decision is more important to them rather than the mere thought.Be strong in your mind wake up and start taking control of your life, yes start taking decisions, decisions which are true, decisions which bring peace and love, decisions which change the coarse of time, decisions which spread love among masses.Once you possess this power of decision making you will stand out from the crowd, you will become the reason for somebody to be happy which in turn will keep your soul satisfied.

GLOBAL WARMING.....HOW SERIOUS ARE WE?

future if we donot act timely future if we act timely

Its 6:30 in the morning when i am sitting in front of my desktop and writting this.Morning yes its early in the morning in almost a winter session.The sun god showed up at around 5:50 am.its really beautifull outside.I think morning is the time when gods arrive on earth.The scene outside is tranquillising my senses, its spelling beauty in front of me so fresh............... wow....... green grass blue sky as they say and you and i..... This morning air, the chirping birds, the blossoming flower, the morning dew drop ask me a

question every morning ie; will i be as pure as i am now? and as the day grows and the human kind takes over on this side of the globe the answer gets clearer...... smoke smoke and smoke every where.... and then the air asks me will i be the same everymorning and i have no answer to that morning natural air which is a part of bountifull gifts of mother nature to us.In the spectre of actions of the human kind i dont think that any body has an answer to the question asked above.

The brutality and senselessness displayed by us the so called supreme authorities on this earth 'the human mind' have spoiled the balance of this earth in such a way that once this question arises to the third generation from today they wont even know how to answer it...... coz they wont be knowing as to who this morning air is?

CURB POLLUTION IN WHATEVER WAYS POSSIBLE

RESPECT THE MOTHER NATURE WHICH IS THE SOLE

ELEMENT FOR OUR EXISTENCE..........................................

BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COMING GENERATIONS.

In response to the alarming rate of global warming..... lets make this world a better place to live in......

Pass on the beautifull and precious delights to the coming generations which we have got from the mother nature.The right hand corner pic should be te aim not the left one..

NOTHING SUCCEEDS SUCCESS

A Statement based on rock logic.A person wishes to achieve all kinds of needs and desires in his/her life ie; physiological needs, security, social needs , esteem needs etc.On the basis of achievement of these needs in the same sequence as stated above the degree of success of a person is measured.There is one important aspect which binds all these needs together and sustains them for an individual in the long term and that important aspect is nothing but SUCCESS.

Different people define success in their own different ways.'Quite natural' as it has to be, perceptions differ from one individual to another.But have you really thought as to what success means to you in life, for some its the attainment of physiological needs only, for some its money, for some its money with lots of glory and fame and for some it is a mere feeling of self sufficiency or you can call it ultimate satisfaction.As you need a strong base to build up mansions and tall structured buildings, you need a strong base in life so as to be capable of supporting yourself as well as your near and dear ones and if the same base is just like concrete you can go on carrying others too.Attainment of this base is success, crossing this initial threshold of life is success, and after that its just life.

Life is a lesson and you learn it when you are through, its a process of constant learning.Till now i have learnt many significant lessons but this one lesson will always be embedded in my mind ie; NOTHING SUCCEEDS SUCCESS.A successful man is heard, a successful man is respected and a successful man only has the unspoken authority to preach.Success is the limit which once crossed, can give you flexibility in life to make your own path to achieve your other goals (personal or professional) and leave the trail behind for others to follow.

PASSING THOUGHT

YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFULL IF YOU GET WHAT YOU LIKE,

YOU WILL BE HAPPY IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU GET.

So always be happy and try your level best to be successfull.